Oh wow. Imagine carrying on like that at a funeral for goodness sake and to what ends. But at least your gramps and Great-uncle Bojo are now at peace.
Good addition for the memoir if you do decide to write one in your dotage though.
And you were so right about the A-lister. Goodness I thought that I put in the hours online but he could teach a master-class. And he had a 5am start this morning which he made but only because I set my alarm and made him get up.
Oh he decided not to wait for his day off but turned up late yesterday with his cases and a wry smile. He does rather fly by the seat of his pants though and must be a nightmare on set. Apparently it's all 'location shots' at the moment and very little dialogue, which is lucky because I'm not sure he's learnt very much of his lines at all. He only had a couple of scenes to shoot today so was back at the house by 6pm so we put in a couple of hours with me reading lines with him whilst the Dashing Major cooked. I quite enjoyed it really but I'm not sure that I'd want to do it every day.
Apparently I'm too English for most of the characters though and the only American accent I could manage was a really bad southern one. So we called time on it after a couple of hours because I was distracting him by playing the steely-eyed, war-scarred commander of the group as a distressed southern belle left over from Gone with the Wind. His words.
I was quite looking forward to having a guest for a while and us having another voice in the house and someone to cook for ... and with ... he's cooking for us tomorrow evening. And you really should be careful what you wish for. Or at least I should.
So the Mother-ship has an older brother, Uncle Henry, who is a lovely man - very quiet, very dignified and rather ... innocent. I'm not sure that is the right word probably best to say not very worldly-wise.
Uncle Henry married late in life to Auntie Doris who, even though she must have been a good 10 years younger than him, had been married three times previously. Her first husband had died (not sure what of), her second husband had divorced her because she was having an affair with what later became her third husband. Husband number three moved to Thailand less than a year into the marriage and she later divorced him for desertion. She was recovering from the divorce in Geneva in the same hotel where Uncle Henry was staying for a business conference (he is Finance director of some rather large company or other) and before we knew it wedding invitations were sent out and they were married.
Auntie Doris is a character and that's the polite way of putting it. She is now a woman of a certain age but is still wearing the clothes of, and acting like, a woman 30 years younger. She is the life and the soul of any party providing that she is the centre of attention. She is a terrible flirt and is under the misapprehension that she can still attract men of my age and younger. Suffice to say that Luscious Lydia loves her to bits and they have always got on like the proverbial house on fire. It is quite something to see them in the same room both competing to command the attention of the occupants. But that has interestingly never caused tension between them. Far from it.
Anyway she has turned up at the parents house with a full set of matching luggage and a 'broken heart'. From what little the Mother-ship was able to say over the phone it seems that things may not be going very well at all between Auntie Doris and Uncle Henry and for some reason Auntie Doris has turned to the parents in her time of crisis. Which is awkward given that she is the sister-in-law and Uncle Henry is actually the Mother-ship's brother. As I think I mentioned they are both getting ready for the start of the new university term so they were wondering if I could put Auntie Doris up for a few days, just long enough for them to get a bit more prep done and for me to get to the bottom of what is going on.
I so wanted to say no. I mean I really don't mind her and she can be really sweet and all that but my goodness she is draining. And I have a house with three rather handsome men in it (I'm including Piotr the Protective in that as he often joins us now for dinner). It just has disaster written all over it although I'm not sure who for but definitely someone.
But I couldn't see how I could say no given everything that the parents have done for me so last night over dinner I explained it all to the boys and set out what I believe is going to be the challenging times ahead. They of course think I am overstating it and have told me not to worry and said lots of reassuring things about how it will all be fine.
And for many people they need to experience it for themselves in order to fully appreciate something so tomorrow we expect the arrival of Auntie Doris.
Wish us all luck, Pirate!
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