Doing nothing by halves

It was sooo good to see you and I had missed you awfully and it was so nice to hug you again and you still smell nice by the way.

I'm not sure what I thought Gretel would be like but my goodness she was welcoming. She looks very Scandinavian which is I guess why you chose the name and then she has that wonderful way you Americans do of making you feel as if you have been friends forever.

And I have a feeling that we may well be going to be just that.

There were a number of reasons for me being quiet on the way to the apartment. One was obviously that Gretel did rather fulfil the role of tour guide, which was fantastic because it is all just so new, well to me anyway, never having set foot on American soil before. The other was because I didn't want to miss anything of the scenery between the airport and your apartment.

I must admit however to being a tad disappointed on the motorway as there was so little to see. And just when you thought you might see something there were huge concrete walls. But when we hit the bridge and there was the river and bits of the city in the distance, that was lovely.

And then we seemed to be getting into the city (or suburb?) and there was that weird road with what felt like an interminable string of petrol stations all next to each other with the only difference, as far as I could see, being whatever food franchise were affiliated with them. Was there really that much custom that would make that worth it for them all?

And then we were amongst the buildings proper and the traffic and the people. And I thought perhaps there was enough custom. You do certainly seem to have an awful lot more of everything.

Your apartment by the way is amazing. I think you had told me it was the upper floor of an old warehouse building, and I wasn't quite sure what that meant, but I certainly did not expect such an amazing building and an amazing space. I love that you have left the ground floor space open plan (well apart from the bathroom and bedrooms obviously) but then to have a mezzanine floor too. And our room up there is just perfect.

I'm afraid Gretel had to drag me off the balcony to go the art exhibition. I could have sat up there all day watching the traffic and the people. But the exhibition was good too and of course it gave us more time to chat and get to know each other. And then a lovely evening of us all cooking and laughing and singing together.

Oh I must say that Hans Lederhosen is one of the most charming men I have met. And he looks very German. Very handsome in an angular way but still, having chatted with him a while, I did wonder how he and Gretel managed to make such a successful pairing. They are so very different. He is very measured in his comments and has a very dry wit and of course she is so exuberant and has so much energy. But when they look at each other .... well .... it is clear that there is so much love and admiration. The stuff of books and the wish of all of us I think.

And I was relieved that she loved her presents. The candle was a bit of a gamble and it could so have gone either way to be honest. Your comment on her vast social media presence now makes sense of all the followers I appear to have acquired in a very short period of time. I'm sure they'll move on when they realise what a boring life I have.

Well usually have. You do rather bring the drama, Pirate. Although to be fair, on this occasion, I rather think it may have been my drama that came calling.

You do realise that this is our second party together. The first one was rather a dull affair by comparison. Even Plastic Patty pales to insignificance in all the circumstances.

Okay so I don't think there is much to say of the day. It seemed to be all of us pitching into the setting up, you and the Dashing Major checking whatever it is that you were checking to make sure you hadn't appeared on a radar somewhere, and then the caterers arriving.

Oh and I think we may need to rename High Maintenance Mandy because quite frankly she is so very not and seemed to be happy to help wherever she could. There was not even a tinge of diva about her. She really is lovely.

I had hoped that we might find time to have a look at the scrapbooks you brought back from the storage unit but no sooner had we finished the last of the preparations it was time to get ready for guests arriving.

Gretel has an amazing, almost eclectic, group of friends. Yes I appreciate that some of them were your friends first but still I couldn't get over the variety of backgrounds, jobs, views (political, religious and everything in between) and even ages. I was thinking of Lord Marmaduke's party and thinking that apart from maybe yourself everyone there could be very easily pigeon-holed. Not so your friends.

And again they were all so welcoming and all so interesting. An hour or more must have passed before I think I managed a word or two with you or the Dashing Major. And everyone seemed to understand the need to keep High Maintenance Mandy's presence there quiet. In fact no-one seemed phased at all about her and seemed to welcome her very much the way they welcomed me.

Gretel took charge of introducing me to everyone almost as soon as they arrived and I quickly lost track of everyone's names for which I was endlessly apologising. Then Fireman Rick (and I know he isn't but he reminds me of one of the firefighters on a calendar of half-naked firemen that I once had) disappeared and came back with stickers and insisted that we all wear name badges. And everyone thought it such a hoot and so after that it was so much easier and I didn't feel nearly as rude.

And it was all going so well. I was sat with DJ Ben and his partner Jazzy June, who were both laughing so much I thought they were about to do themselves a mischief. It all stemmed from the fact that I could not, try as I might, understand a word DJ Ben said to me. He tried to tell me that he was speaking English and I pointed out that if he could not imagine those words being spoken by King Charles III then it was unlikely to be English. So after that he was trying to teach me American street slang which of course I was pronouncing in an English accent which was the source of the hilarity.

People had been coming and going throughout the evening so I'm not sure what made me look up at that point that the door opened but I did. At first all I saw was a tall, rather handsome man of about 50 perhaps. You had met him at the door and I think must have been explaining to him and his companion about putting their phones in the box. I saw him take his out of his pocket and then reach behind for his companion's phone and as he did I caught sight of her.

It was Luscious Lydia.