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Conversations with spiders ...

Pirate

When the door opened my heart sank I won't lie. But then I saw it was you.

And you smiled. THAT smile.


I hadn't intended to read in there. Just hide and avoid having to join the shooting party.


Don't get me wrong - I can shoot. But I have zero interest in blasting pellets at birds. No real skill in that.


And I had clocked that Plastic Patty had emerged and surmised, like you, was unlikely to be going shooting.


So I went wandering to see where I could hole up for the morning and found the library. Ballrooms! Libraries! A whole different world from where I come from.


Maybe one day I'll bore you with the details of where I come from. It's not interesting. Pretty sure my childhood is the same as millions of others. Not like yours. Mine is all cities and grime and hard knocks. Not that I'm looking for pity. I've done pretty well for myself and there is so much of what happened back then that helped me get to where I am right now.


But this place. You. All so different. New. Interesting.


And I really enjoyed our day. Me fetching the books and you tapping away on your keyboard. Every so often throwing your arms up in despair that the Convivial Count had this book or that book hidden away and (the biggest crime of all) ignored in his collection. And then sneaking out to the kitchen for sandwiches and sneaking back before anyone could see us. Like kids raiding the refrigerator. Except we were hiding from the walking hangover. Merciless Mary rolled her eyes at us but packed us up with a pretty good lunch and Jovial James stood watch. I'm starting to like him.


They love you by the way. Do they have children of their own? Can't imagine it somehow.


I never had you as a tech geek. Which reminds me I must get you to look at the Dashing Major's company website. It's ****. They're not short of work, which is why I think he ignores it, but it does them no favours (I spelt that correct too!) - no favors (in your eye!!) at all. You'd like his business partner - well the whole team really. They're all good people. Maybe shouldn't introduce you to Techy Trevor in case you get the hots for him and break the Dashing Major's heart. He's more into the hardware and tech gear they have in that place rather than the website though. I think he did set it up but he's way too busy now to update it. He's got this really cool shooting gallery where they plan out shooting sequences for films and stuff.


Anyway, we talked work mostly - mine and yours. Places we'd been - places you'd like to go - places I probably won't be going back to any time soon - or can't! And I made you laugh at some of the scrapes I've managed to get myself in - and out of.


And then we came across the spider. You wouldn't let me kill it but you were not for picking it up. So I had to. And put it in the corridor (not outside because it is a house spider and house spiders will die outside). Really?!! And not on the floor in case someone stood on it. Higher up. Picture frame it is then. And they eat flies - which are much worse than spiders apparently.


To be honest I hadn't seen any flies so maybe it was an efficient house spider and worth keeping. It was kinda plump when I think back.


So that's when you told me about the school tarantula - Lucy - and how you loved to let her out of her tank and sit on your arm or hand or shoulder. And you sometimes got to look after her in the school holidays. No teacher in the schools I went to would expect any creature to live if we had to look after it. Lucky if the whole year made it through let alone adding any other animals to the mix.


And I asked why, if you were happy enough with a tarantula, you ran from the little house spider I had just had to eject. And you said you only liked spiders 'big enough to have a conversation with'.


Just as the shooting party returned.







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