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Are you trying to kill me?

Pirate

What the very .... if you were trying to reassure me then you failed stupendously.

Okay having called you I have to admit I'm a little less worried but not much. I'm going to do some digging on him anyway. Just make sure it is low level stuff and you don't have some crazy in your house.


Jeez millady. I think I'm growing an ulcer - and I'm going to name it after you.


On to less stressful subjects we had an update on Popstar Pete earlier. I can't have been out of the States 24 hours until he stuck his nose back in the powder and got caught by Wonderful Will. I worry that he isn't going anywhere but down. Anyway he isn't my kid and not my responsibility.


On the plus side my reasons for saying I had a conflict are now out in the open. So I've had a chat with Wonderful Will about it.


Wonderful Will is as I've told you is an ace diplomat. So he's reported it to the studio - as he has to - and come to some agreement with them.


Upshot is Popstar Pete keeps his part so long as he goes into rehab. Apparently they can work the shooting around the therapy and so our time (and their money) aren't wasted and the studio get to play the good guys if Popstar Pete's habit ever leaks out into the press. A win for everyone.


And the kid is picking up the routines and it looks like that bit at least might work out well.


I genuinely hope the rehab works though. He's too young to be throwing his life away on that stuff.


Back here. Some of it is going really well - and the work stuff..... not so good.


It's usual for someone who isn't used to firearms to react when the gun goes off. Jump - scream - maybe drop the gun now and then. Not every goddam time. I'm mean at one stage she literally threw it. Like if that had been loaded she'd have probably shot herself - or the cat - or a kid. Actually I don't think there are cats or kids in the scene. Not to start with anyway. The kids appear later. Not the cat. No cat. At all.


I don't think.


But she is keen. Very enthusiastic. So much energy.


And I am still talking about work before you ask.


And she is a genuinely lovely lady. Makes it easier to stay patient. And she knows the moves. Has the movement around the set (we mocked that up) down pat. No problem there. But short of taping the gun to her hand we're running out of ideas. Techy Trevor thought he had seen it all. Mutes the gun sounds. Turns off the recoil. Fine but no realism. I mean she may as well have a water pistol in her hands. She even started shouting 'bang!' until we asked her to stop.


As soon as the sound comes back on she jumps and screams. Recoil, she drops the gun. Nightmare.


Oh and I have a theory. I don't think High Maintenance Mandy is high maintenance. I think it is the entourage. Talentless ****s who find someone with actual talent and then leech off them rather than find themselves a real job. They are driving everyone nuts.


I think Sultry Suki is on the verge of mass murder.


Anyway we've got some recordings of the better run throughs - they still ain't great though - and the Dashing Major is discussing what might be done with the studio. I think he has a meeting with the director and one of the writers tomorrow. Remote no less. Be impressed.


So in the meantime we soldier on and she apologies for being so bad at it and we all try to make reassuring noises. And wait and see if the Dashing Major can conjure a rabbit out of a hat.


I'm taking her out for dinner later. We're having great fun shaking off her security. It's driving Tweedle-dumb and Tweedle-dumber crazy. Should cheer her up a bit.


But that's enough of the circus at this end. Why was Ever-so-capable Evelyn shocked? And any sign of any romance with the Convivial Count yet?


Her - not you.




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