Okay I get why you have to keep these things short and lacking in detail but I worry.

Come back soon.
Anyway I shall make up for your pithy update with a much longer one. I'm sure there is no more happening at my end than yours but I can at least write about it. Well, actually that might not be true.
Here goes.
Houdini - has made a couple more appearances much to our consternation and confusion. One was sitting on the side of the bath as I emerged from the shower and the other on the balcony earlier this evening. On both occasions he was returned to Miss Humbug who now seems as resigned as we are that he will be popping in uninvited by whatever means it is that he is getting in. On the last occasion I was popping out to the shop so it also served as an opportunity to see if she needed anything - which she did - and when I was in the shop I bumped into Dapper Dave with their little boy so walked back with them.
It occurred to me that if they were all in houses they would probably be quite a community but flats make it harder to casually socialise. There is a communal 'area' outside - but all paving and walls and it looks like a skate park (but flat and lacking obstacles - and skating is forbidden - there is a sign and everything). Dapper Dave is going to raise it at the next tenants meeting and see if something more like a garden might not be created to encourage tenants to sit out and meet. Hope he gets some support. Am sure he will.
Training is going well I think. Wonderful Will is incredibly patient and very positive in his feedback. I'm fairly sure I'm not doing nearly as well as he makes out but it means I don't feel like a complete idiot. He has me doing some ballet stretches (for want of a better word) and some exercises dangling from ropes when we're not fighting. I guess that is better than waxing his car (you get the reference?) but it all seems very odd at times. He tells me that it will become clearer in due course but for now we plod on.
Oh and I haven't gouged, punched or kicked him in any of the places you recommended. I am being a model student. So far at least.
I've also been practising in the shooting gallery. Techy Trevor put together a range that looks like the side of a building with windows. I was all for shooting ducks or crash test dummy heads or whatever.
Clowns!! He made them bloody clowns! I hate clowns. And their eyes flashed red if I was supposed to hit them and green if I wasn't. I shot every one of the ****ers I could. Apparently whilst screaming obscenities.
He laughed like a loon.
Anyway, the good news was that my aim is getting better but the bad news was that my heart rate was through the roof. So then I had to have a lesson in controlling my fear with the Dashing Major as this can lead to errors and ..... yes. So. Moving on.
The basic layout of the revamped website went live this morning but they wanted to hold back on posting the additional content until they can decide what kind of launch (if any) to go with.
I've also floated some ideas on how they might use that room off reception and make it more of a flexible space. I checked with her first, but I also borrowed some of the templates that Ever-so-capable Evelyn had used for my rooms to lay out the colour schemes and potential fittings/furniture etc. So that is all done and with them and nothing more I can do on that front.
I know you said not to scuttle back up North just yet but I do feel that maybe I should. And you were right about the Dashing Major. He is perfectly happy for me to stay at his for as long as I want. He says that he enjoys having me around. Everyone at the company wants me to move into that office on a more permanent basis which is wonderful. And I know it isn't as if I can't work there just as well as I could at home. I'm just eager to get back and try to make some progress on the house.
And try to process what is happening down here (more on that later).
Your snooping about Luscious Lydia's current beau is interesting. The Mother-ship has told me that there have been a few loud and angry sounding conversations late at night that she has tried not to overhear but hard not to. Apparently. And from the words Luscious Lydia has been shouting at the caller the Mother-ship assumes that the relationship is in its final death throes.
Father-dearest cannot abide anger and tension so has apparently been sneaking off to my house to do a little more of the prep work. He's been liaising with Reliable Rob in case there is anything that they need whilst he is there and to get updates and things and he has been chatting with Farmer Jim. In fact, thinking about it, Father-dearest has probably been socialising more than prepping but the Mother-ship says he is better off away from Luscious Lydia (who he loves dearly but he always seems to irritate).
So Father-dearest was surprised to discover, via Farmer Jim, that the barn (which is my barn by the way) seems to have had a visitor. Certainly someone has been clearing things out in there. He had some old hay bales in there (ruined because of the water ingress) and some old bits of fencing - posts and stuff. Much of the rubbish has gone and the rest moved to one side. Farmer Jim hasn't seen anyone about in the daytime and had been quite concerned that it was perhaps one of the adjacent landowners trying to stake a claim on the barn. Father-dearest reassured him that we had checked the deeds (well the Mother-ship had) and the barn was definitely part of my land so that was not going to happen.
Father-dearest was all for setting up some CCTV in the barn but the Mother-ship was having no more of that nonsense thank you very much. The camera doorbell is still amusing Father-dearest it seems.
All very mysterious!
I was telling the Dashing Major all about it. We were out quite late and the sky was so clear you could see the stars. I even thought I'd caught sight of a shooting star. And we had had a few glasses of wine.
Which probably explains a few things. Like him asking me in a very earnest way not to go home just yet.
Just before he kissed me.
And I was so taken aback I'm not sure what expression I was wearing but he looked crestfallen and quickly apologised. And I felt so bad because it wasn't unpleasant or anything.
And I didn't know what to do to make amends.
So I kissed him back.
And now I'm in a pickle, Pirate! Come back soon. Please.
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