I've been sat here for a while now wondering what to write.
This isn't as easy as you make it look.
Let's keep it simple. I was there because I was over in the UK working with the Dashing Major (to follow your naming scheme). He had an invite and for whatever reason decided he should really go and would I tag along. Might be fun.
REALLY didn't think it was going to be when we got there.
I mean that place is a helluva thing. Straight out of some English novel. And when Jovial James (who was not at all jovial with us) let us in I thought we should turn tail and head for the road as fast as the car would take us.
The Convivial Count was. Seems like a nice guy actually. Think he may have a thing for you but I'm getting ahead of myself there. Ever-so-capable Evelyn was already there and organising everyone. Showed us to our rooms. Nice enough really. She seems to fit in there by the way. Any chance that she and the Convivial Count ... ?
And then there was ... trying to think of a name that might do her justice but isn't so sweary that you'll freak. Plastic Patty. Let's call her that. Don't know why women feel the need to do that to their faces but she looked like one of the Hollywood Stepford wives. Big cheekbones, even bigger lips and definitely had the Dashing Major in her crosshairs from the moment he stepped in. It was quite funny really. Like some ballistic missile.
He was polite but firm .. and cold. She was not put off. Always at his arm. Always leaning in on him. Always there. Kinda got the feeling it might be a fun weekend after all just seeing him labouring (I spelt that right by the way - you've set this to UK spelling *sigh*) to keep her at bay.
Well we got the tour and went down to the stables for a while. And I do ride by the way. So we missed your arrival.
Got back from the stables, showered, dressed and sat around in the cavernous room they call a 'sitting room'. Think the Dashing Major had suggested making drinks with Plastic Patty in tow. Then the hallway door burst open and in you came. We heard you shouting '10 minutes. I'll be 10 minutes' before I caught a glimpse of you in your sweats disappearing up the staircase. Then a 'maybe 15'. Ever-so-capable Evelyn rolled her eyes at the Convivial Count who did seem to linger in his look in your direction. Like I say. I think he has a thing for you.
Hadn't thought the Dashing Major had seen you. Plastic Patty was already winding up for a bitching session with you clearly in her line of fire. Do women think bitching about another woman impresses a man? It doesn't. But she carried on anyway.
A short time later ... and this is the probably the point at which I genuinely started to enjoy the weekend ... a vision in a long gown clutching heels and a purse to her chest slid down that grand bannister and landed with more grace than a cat. It was only on the landing that I noticed your dress zipper was still slightly undone but there was Jovial James, like some ninja, out of nowhere to complete the task. Heels dropped unceremoniously on the floor - feet slipped into them. Still wet hair mussed up with your hands and then that smile.
Girl you have a helluva smile. It goes all the way to your eyes. A genuine smile. And a killer.
I hadn't seen the Dashing Major make the drink but there he was like a big cat, stalking his way over to you with a G&T in hand.
You know he's never had to work to get a woman don't you? And there he was oozing that cool charm of his and you took the glass, looked up at him with that smile and said 'That's kind of you. Thank you.' And then you moved over to Ever-so-capable Evelyn to apologise if you had held everyone up.
And he was left just stood there. He didn't look awkward. He never looks awkward. But it was funny as hell nevertheless. Plastic Patty was shooting you daggers.
Then Ever-so-capable Evelyn was making the introductions and the car arrived and off we went. Did you even take a sip of that drink? Didn't notice.
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